Call Her Within Five Business Days or I Take Her Number Back
Ever have too many women banging down your door? Puzzled with what to do with all the phone numbers you're getting from single girls? One of my buddies was so over-extended, he's been loaning out phone numbers.
So my buddy is in a club in New York. One of his friends is visiting. The fellow visiting is engaged, and the rumor that someone is about to be married is making the rounds through the dance floor. Not that people enjoy being the last fling with someone preparing to take the death march down the aisle of matrimony, but a young lovely, under the unbelievably wrong impression that my buddy is the one that's getting married, asks him to dance.
"Are you the one who's engaged," she asked him as they slinked to the dance floor.
"No," he replied. "But I'd like to be."
The silly little thing bought his line; nobody said club girls weren't occasionally gullible. At the end of the evening, after few more statements about lasting relationships that might be more fiction than fact, my buddy was presented with her home phone number, office phone number, mailing address, street address and probably a couple other ways to contact her, just so he'd have no excuse if he didn't.
Now while most guys would be happy at this concerted show of interest, my buddy's reaction was lukewarm. It seems his dance card for the following week was already filled up. Don't ask me why, but he just had too many women making demands on his time. Understanding that a phone number from a willing and attractive young lady really wasn't something to be squandered, he approached one of his comrades, who was going through, shall we say, a dry spell.
"I am loaning you this number," he said as he placed the card in his friend's hand. "You have five business days in which to use it. I am doing this, because I don't have time to see her this week and I remember what it's like to be hard up. If you have not used this card by next Monday, I am repossessing it."
"But Monday is a holiday" his friend stammered. "That's only four business days."
"You need an extension," my buddy sneered. "Fine. But you better call her by Tuesday or I'm taking her number back and calling her myself."
"So what are you going to say to her," a third member of the party asked. "Hi. You were hitting on my friend at the club last weekend and he didn't have time to call you this week, so he loaned me your number?"
The face of my buddy's friend turned a couple interesting colors, but he didn't answer.
Then, satisfied that he'd arranged for his latest admirer to be taken care of, at least until he could find time on his calendar to attend to her himself, my buddy got into a cab and went home.
We should all have such busy schedules.